osusexual:

2srooky:

cactiofficial:

I’ve never met cr1tikal but I trust him.

I feel if I was in any horror situation I would be so safe and calm because with any other person they would be screaming and crying but if he and I were trapped in a building surrounded by ravenous mutants he would just be deadpan like “they are so rude I can’t believe this. Let’s blow this Popsicle stand.”

"You’ve gotta be stirring my pasta"

3 hours ago // 28,648 notes

severalbadpunslater:

whoreoscopes:

doomf:

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

25796323689432 feet you say?

image

this is literally my favorite post on tumblr

(Source: andrewbelami)

10 hours ago // 254,418 notes

babybowsers:

me: *petting a cat* nice

cat: *bathes self where i touched it*

me: image

10 hours ago // 64,799 notes
When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog. A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States.  (via 33113)

(Source: africandogontheprairie)

12 hours ago // 155,314 notes