nosdrinker:

underknower:

nosdrinker:

the people upstairs are banging again

banging on what

post your address so I can fight you

3 hours ago // 1,360 notes

captain-georgeuniverse:

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

That. Is. Amazing.

3 hours ago // 141,789 notes
4 hours ago // 1,548 notes

infiltration:

sometimes i realize there are so many things i won’t remember in 50 years like the way the sky looked this morning and all the dogs i saw today and my mom’s voice and i get so sad i never want to forget

4 hours ago // 64,803 notes